How I left your mother

Kids, I have never told you this story before.
It's not a happy story.It might be a sad story, or maybe not. It's just life as it is.

You see, back when I was younger, I was different. Hard to let anyone in, even harder to love someone.Your mother, however, broke that ice and found a way into my heart. It was a miracle that I cannot understand to this day, and I salute her for the courage she had to do so.

Like all stories, this one had a colorful beginning, golden leaves in autumn, hot yellow sun in the summer, green grass in the spring and that clandestine beauty covered in white snow in the winter. It had all of that, and when did we lose the colors....I have no idea. At least I cannot remember, you should ask your mother about that, maybe she knows.After that, it was all grey, and by the end, it was a shitty brown, going towards black or a sort of a dark, bloody red.

The moments we had were epic, like in a fairytale. The small faults - humane, understandable. The mistakes.....unfortunately, fundamental, endured with large amount of damage, however still manageable with a high amount of forgiveness and mutual understanding, mixed with what was left of that love we had in the beginning. The attitude of "no regrets for the mistakes I made" that your mother had - unacceptable.

I am also not sure when did your mother and myself become mortal enemies.If we were in war - I don't remember getting the announcement of any such thing. I must have missed the memo. Judging by the amount of retaliation moves, tactical positioning of words, events, messages, we were surely in a war, and it was a war where there were no prisoners - just casualties. How bitter. How ugly. How...dull. I liked your mother better when she was open, bright, shining. At the end, she was all about cloak and dagger, attack and retreat. And kids, if you did not know that about me, I hate wars, they are an unnecessary loss of time and resources for the involved parties.

So, leaving.... is never easy. Letting go, even worse. But one cannot go against the logic of things. The signs were clear, all the colors were gone, whatever shred of feelings I had remaining in me for her, she made sure that she numbs them down as well, just as a skilled hunter does to his almost dead prey.Whatever memory she had of me, it seems that she shattered it and hid the bits and pieces. How can you argue with that, kids? How do you repair that? That is the thing - you can't.

So at the end, I did the only thing possible, the only thing that would keep my mind sane - I left your mother. What your mother did from that point on, I have no idea. We didn't keep in touch. Sad, I know, but life has moments like those.

So kids, that was the story of how I left your mother. After all said and done, maybe you two are the ones to whom I owe the greatest apology. You would've been a great pair of kids. The greatest. But, since I left your mother, you were never conceived and thus never born. Such a shame.
It's sad, yes, I know.
It could have been different, but it's not. And life.....it has moments like those.